Let’s All Slow Down

 

I refused to believe it could get any worse
Last year we saw two thousand one twenty four
But as I did research for crafting this verse,
I found to my shock that this year there were more!

The bills numbered two thousand three ninety seven
The Assembly alone saw fifteen thirty-three
The Governor must have been in seventh heaven
For just over one-third of all did he see.

He signed nearly 800 that came to his desk
And vetoed the rest with a stroke of his pen
As usual, schools were most often addressed
And thus do our summaries face you again!

There’s no single through line to all of these bills
But it is apparent that some thought it prudent
To focus on daunting societal ills
That’s why the majority center on students.

No foods can be RSF or UFC
Out of state NPS? There are more rules for you
No smartphones in even emergenciesDo not cyberbully outside of school too.

The students’ I.D. cards must now provide
A hotline for LGBTQ+
So Trevor can guide them against suicide
By talking to someone they know they can trust.

And still we must teach against bias and hate
Like holocaust and genocide education.
New statewide officials to coordinate
Prevention of horrible discrimination

Based on gender and race and ethnicity
LBGTQ and the antisemitic
OCR will be tracking such activity
To ensure LEAs take all steps to correct it.

Tribal regalia not just at graduation
Can be worn now without your pre-approval
And so many new laws about immigration!
For protection against any student’s removal.

Distribution of workloads in special education,
And something called assessments equity
Why even bother with negotiations
If the State’s telling everyone how it should be?

Does the application contain any lies?
The person must list every prior LEA
You must contact all of them for classified
It’s now a requirement of hiring foreplay.
Many more now are mandated reporters –
Volunteers, contractors, Board members too!
Policies on the professional borders?
You’d think these adults would already be clued!

More leaves of absence – do we not have enough?
A new LOA for emergency states
And for families of victims of hideous stuff
One can’t disagree we should help with these fates

After almost two decades, if I rightly remember,
Since our constitution created our schools
A mandate for training for all our Board members
On laws setting forth district financing rules

Trustees, be aware of the new conflict codes!
You’d better disclose two thousand or more
If you receive crypto in digital modes
Add this to your Form 700 chore

And superintendents, you’ve now been selected
To take ethics training; this includes COEs
But home/email address and phones of electeds
On registrar records you’ll no longer see

There’s more teleconferences in the Act Brown
Board member stipends will rise with inflation
Perhaps no more CEQA the next time around
To build workforce housing and some transportation

Charge costs to maintain and restore and repair
For your Civic Centers (this law had expired!)
And contractor payrolls had better be shared
To prove that those wages prevail as required

There’s billions of dollars for Budget Act things
Like ELOP, UTK, teacher prep and PD
Most are one-time and contain all the strings
(I thought categoricals weren’t s ’posed to be?]

At least there’s one bill among all the plenty
The essence of which I believe is profound
The speed around schools shrinks by five to be twenty
The lesson? Let’s all just agree to slow down!

GJD

 

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